Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
- Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
- Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
- Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
- Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
- Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
- Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
- Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
- Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
- Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
- Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
- Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
- Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
- Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
- Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
- Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
- Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
- Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
- Dad: Fuck the government.
- Dad: Fuck the school board.
- Dad: Close the door.
- Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
- Dad: I love puns.
- Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
- Dad: Please shut up.
- Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
- Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
- Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
- Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
- Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
- Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
- Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
- Dad: They act like I care what they think.
- Dad: I hate homework.
- Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
- Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
armandlovestimmy reblogged this from ikeracity
armandlovestimmy liked this
randompersonx liked this
waddup-it-val liked this yellowblueeyes liked this
fwraunsclown liked this
staring-into-demon-eyes reblogged this from staring-into-demon-eyes
wisepotatoes liked this
bigobjectbeliever liked this
all-star-avocado liked this thoughtsstraightfromthevoid reblogged this from ikeracity
thoughtsstraightfromthevoid liked this
tinyspace-explorer liked this
whatthehelliknow reblogged this from urlocalcryptidbitch
newportonmymind reblogged this from newportonmymind askpillow reblogged this from askpillow
drearaine liked this
paynomindtomyidiocy liked this
dmiflower liked this
maawi1253 liked this jarofhearts28 liked this
instantnoooodles liked this
olibog reblogged this from coccinelle-et-chaton
cherriesand liked this
ghost-in-the-summer reblogged this from fans-of-the-damned
theconfusedleo liked this
batpeggy21 liked this
on-firegarbagecan liked this dauntless-sakura liked this
friedrich-the-gay liked this
fans-of-the-damned reblogged this from the-cloudy-system
traveling-around-randomly liked this
the-cloudy-system reblogged this from bluerosesbleedred
the-cloudy-system liked this
bluerosesbleedred reblogged this from thatsthat24
bluerosesbleedred liked this
katieparker110 reblogged this from xiranjayzhao
katieparker110 liked this
oliswamp liked this alfonzwerth liked this
random-chaos-thoughts reblogged this from positivephoton
thisisanatattack posted this - Show more notes
