What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

Ayn Rand’s “The Breakfast Club”

mallelis:

Brian (VO) 

Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois. 60062. 

Dear Mr. Vernon…We (the six I’s; the I and I and I and I and I and I that cannot be subsumed into your swirling, vacuous We) accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong, that the defiant act of the Ego threatened you, that individualism triumphed over the slow stagnation of collectivism. But we think you’re crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are — by which, of course, you mean to make us define that which is Not Ourselves, which is in itself a betrayal of your own miserable philosophy. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at seven o’clock this morning. We were brainwashed…

ANDREW [Carrying Claire under his arm]: I have taken the fittest female for myself, as is my right as a prime mover.

BENDER [Slinging Allison over his shoulder]: I have also claimed my woman.

BRIAN: There is no remaining woman for me. I will turn my attention to the world of business, and become a captain of industry. 

ANDREW & BENDER [In chorus]: You are a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute. We salute you. When you build your first skyscraper, look us up and we will offer our willing and grateful women to you. 

CLAIRE [Muffled]: I own a railroad and I long to be mastered by a man greater than myself.

BRIAN (VO)

What we found out is that each of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess and a criminal, and that we must all exist for our own sake, neither sacrificing ourselves to others nor sacrificing others to ourselves; that morality is based on the needs of man’s survival qua man. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club Individuals.

guys I can’t stop rewriting things in the guise of Ayn Rand 

send help

wait don’t altruism is incompatible with happiness

*chokes*

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    brilliant
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