What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

THE CAMBRIDGE LATIN COURSE: STAGE IV

rhube:

oedipusmotherfuckingtyrannus:

QUINTUS EST FILIUS (THE SON). QUINTUS EST STERCULUS MOLESTUS (AN ANNOYING LITTLE SHIT). QUINTUS ROGAT QUAESTIONES AB OMNIBUS (ASKS EVERYONE QUESTIONS). QUINTUS NON ABFUTAT (DOES NOT FUCK OFF). HE GETS LESS ANNOYING LATER. LATER HE TURNS INTO AN INSANE MASS MURDERER. JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT.

MEANWHILE, GRUMIO EBRIUS EST (DRUNK). AGAIN. GRUMIO BASICALLY SPENDS ALL HIS TIME IN CULINA DRUNK WITH AN ANCILLA OR TWO. HE NEVER SEEMS TO DO ANY COOKING. HE’S A REALLY SHIT SLAVE. GRUMIO E TABERNA REVENIT (COMES HOME FROM THE PUB). GRUMIO EBRISSIMUS EST (COMPLETELY FUCKING HAMMERED). 

GRUMIO PICTURA VIDIT (SEES THE PAINTING). MAGNUS LEO MATERFUTUS (A HUGE MOTHERFUCKING LION) EST IN PICTURA. GRUMIO EST PERTERRITUS (TERRIFIED.) “EHEU!” (OH SHIT) SAYS GRUMIO, “MATERFUTUS LEO EST IN TRICLINIO!” (THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING LION IN THE DINING ROOM). GRUMIO ABCURRIT. (RUNS AWAY). GRUMIO IS A REALLY SHIT SLAVE, AND A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT.

This shit is fucking hilarious.

I STUDIED THE CAMBRIDGE LATIN COURSE FOR THREE YEARS AND I CAN CONFIRM THAT THIS IS 100% ACCURATE

ALSO MY FAMILY NOW YELLS “PESTUS! FURCIFER!” WHENEVER THERE’S A CAT ON THE TABLE BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT GRUMIO YELLS AT THE DOG WHICH EST IN CULINA.

(via rhube)

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