What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

kiriamaya:

tchy:

fatoutloud:

pervocracy:

I used to think people called me irresponsible, dirty, immoral, or speculated about me having diseases because I wrote about having multiple partners.

Then I changed my name from Holly to Cliff.

I used to think people called me fat because I’m overweight.

Then I changed my name from Holly to Cliff.

I used to think people talked about whether they’d have sex with me (and somehow managed to make “yes” and “no” equally disdainful) because I wrote about sex.

Then I changed my name from Holly to Cliff.

I used to think a certain level of trolling and insulting was just the base state of the Internet, just something you had to thicken your skin to because Internet’s gonna Internet.

Then I changed my name from Holly to Cliff.

My initial conclusion is, of course, “damn, everyone should change their name to Cliff,” but as that seems to not be right for everyone, let’s try:

“Damn, never think that abuse is inevitable or something you deserve”

and

“Damn, never think your judgement of a person is unaffected by your knowledge about their identity.”

and

“Damn, you can live in the same spaces with people for a while and still have no idea what a different view of the world and of human interaction they’re getting.”

I’ve read a lot of stories about people who have transitioned from female to male and how just about every aspect of their life changes after that - one of the biggest and most profound changes is how they are treated by others. The difference in the way our culture treats a man vs how we treat women is HUGELY different. The difference is profound.

The day I realized that everyone—especially women—would shut up and listen when I spoke up in a group, no matter how peripheral I was to the group or how inconsequential what I had to say actually was, was the day I realized I had accessed (passing-as-)male privilege.

It was also the day I realized I would like nothing better than to tear society apart with my bare hands.

As a trans woman, I can tell the opposite story: In the eyes of others, I went from being a soft-spoken person who needed to speak up more to a shrill bitch who needed to shut up; a casual-leaning gamer to a fake gamer; a slightly unattractive person (who didn’t get laid a lot, but that was okay) to a disgustingly unattractive person (who is, apparently, unreasonably withholding sexiness from dudes while simultaneously having too much sex and being too sexual). Where I was once considered a computer expert just by virtue of my existence, I am now thought to be a clueless n00b no matter how much expertise I actually have. Whereas my opinions on politics (or any subject, for that matter) were once heard and respected, they are now dismissed out of hand on the grounds that I am not “serious”/”deep” enough to really understand the issues. And so on, and so forth.

So yes, the difference is there, and it is huge. Even now, even with lots of self-steeling and with the expectation that I will be a target of misogyny all the time, it still makes my head spin sometimes.

(via phirephoenix)

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    I’ve been kenny on paper for over a decade and I’m still a fat slut?
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