What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

five things I love about my husband

In no particular order:

1. His absolute inability to cope with flies. Before we were together, we were walking through Sydney on a hot summer’s day, and he was trying so hard to be cool and impressive, and then we stopped at the lights and this cloud of flies descended on us, and he coped for all of three seconds before manically flailing his hands around his head while yelling “AAAAAAGH!” and then realised what he’d just done and jammed his hands back into his pockets looking sheepish as all hell, and it was ADORABLE.

2. His sense of humour, which sneaks up on me when I’m not looking and always makes me laugh, as per - for instance - his recent decision to randomly start calling David Boreanaz “David Borrowed-Bananas of Angle”. (Benedict Cumerbatch is only ever referred to as “The Cumberbunny.”)  

3. His bumbling malapropisms, which are also endearingly hilarious. This morning, for instance, he was trying to say we shouldn’t count our chickens before they’ve hatched, and it came out as, “Don’t let’s put our chickens in a… I mean, don’t count our eggs… er, hatch our eggs until they’re… um, basketed.”

4. His unfailing insistence, on coming home from an evening out with friends, that we watch an episode of something together, coupled with his unfailing ability to fall asleep, instantly, sitting up, fully clothed, while I’m still putting the DVD in the player.

5. His clumsiness, which is roughly approximate to the clumsiness of a cat that continually knocks things over with its tail, then turns and stares, mystified, at whatever’s fallen over, unable to understand why things keep crashing to the ground of their own accord whenever it walks by. (Not that he actually has a tail. Or maybe he does, and it’s just invisible. Actually, that would explain a lot.)

  1. fozmeadows posted this