What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

magebird:

corpseheiress:

If you have suffered a tragedy and someone says, “you’re in my prayers" with sincerity, and you respond with some egotistical shit about being atheist you are an emotionally inept moron.

For real though like think about it. If someone is religious, there’s really no kinder sentiment they can express than appealing to the highest power they know for your recovery. Whether or not you think it “works" is irrelevant— the kindness is absolutely real.

The kindness is totally real. I get that, and I applaud it. But the social awkwardness of not knowing what to say next, particularly in circumstances when, as mentioned, you’re dealing with a fucking tragedy and are legitimately more concerned with your own problems than whether or not you’ve hurt someone’s feelings by not responding to them in the most tactful way possible, is also real. I mean, that shit is awkward at the best of times; even if you just say “thanks”, there’s a good chance that the presence of any hesitation, visible emotional reaction and/or specific inflection in your response will upset the other person, and when you’re *already* upset, having to deal with that is stressful all by itself. If all someone says is, “You’re in my prayers,” that is totally and 100% cool. But if that person then follows up with something along the lines of, “Have you considered going to church/talking to God/talking to Jesus,” recommends you talk to their pastor/rabbi/mullah/priest of choice about what’s happened to you, or, in the absolute worst case (but still lamentably common) scenario, says something about how God has a plan and meant for it to happen and/or that there’s an upside to every tragedy, then you are within your rights to be affronted, because right at that moment, that person is forcing you to view your problems through the lens of a faith you don’t share in a scenario where you’ll implicitly be punished for finding this awful, and that is in no way cool. 

Bottom line, if you’re dealing with a tragedy and someone is more concerned with how politely you respond to their condolences than with how you’re actually feeling - if they’re willing to deny you your right to be upset, especially with God or your faith, or to lack a faith, because the fact that something tremendously shitty has happened to you is less important to them than upholding the social contract - then they’re the emotionally inept moron, not you. 

(via mothmansbiggestfan-blog)

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