What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

Anonymous asked: Hey I saw your rant on the friend zone. I apologise for stating my opinion on the matter, as it seems that you're automatically hate anyone that disagrees with you. But your entire argument was founded on a lie; that the friend zone is for men denied sex, when really it's for those who genuinely try to be nice to a woman for no other reason than the fact that they're nice, then wonder why that same girl keeps crawling back to an ACTUAL mysoginist who cheats on her, abuses her and brags about....

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l don’t hate people who disagree with me, and my argument isn’t founded on a lie. See, what you’re doing here, complaining about how women avoid nice guys but crawl back to misogynists? That reads like victim-blaming; like you’re shitty with this woman for sleeping with someone you think is a jerk when you’re so nice to her, and that’s not cool. Look: if you were really that concerned about this woman - and given the wording of your reply, it seems like there’s an actual scenario here you’re annoyed about, rather than just the concept in the abstract - then your main source of concern should be her happiness and safety, not the fact that you feel personally slighted by her bad decisions.

Also: just because you, personally, don’t want sex, doesn’t men there aren’t other men in your situation who do. The sex isn’t even the point: it’s that you think you’re entitled to something from this woman just because you’re nice to her, when being nice is like the absolute base form of human decency. Everyone deserves to be treated nicely - so why does doing the bare minimum to be considered a good person somehow entitle you to have control over someone else’s love life? If she’s in a genuinely bad situation, she needs care and support, and complaining on the internet about how her being in a bad relationship is an insult to your kindness is the exact polar opposite of both those things.

  1. fozmeadows posted this