What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

Trash Talk: Insulting Straight White Men

Adapted and rephrased from my comments here, because I think it bears repeating:

Almost uniformly, the people I see defending the primacy and importance of trash talk in gaming are straight white men, with the usual argument being that it’s just part of the online culture and not representative of anything more problematic. Similarly, though, such people often argue that there’s a universality to trash talk that somehow makes it acceptable: that because they, as straight white men, are also lambasted online, then it’s unreasonable to assume that particular groups are unfairly or routinely singled out for stigmatisation.

Here’s the problem, though: if someone calls you a fag (for instance), that’s homophobia. The insult might be directed at you but its status as an insult is predicated on the assumption that you, as a straight man, don’t want to be thought of as gay, because gay men are worse than straight men: that’s the logic. Under this system, straightness and manliness are positive attributes: you can’t insult a straight man by referencing his gender or orientation, and so the only way to attack him is to deny his straightness and manliness. Thus, while meant to make you feel injured, such insults are predominantly attacks on other people; because the moment you think, “I don’t want to be called a fag! That’s bad!”, you’ve essentially agreed that being gay is undesirable; that the accusation of gayness is legitimately insulting. When I’m called a bitch, a slut or a whore online, however, my gender, my sexuality and my person are being attacked specifically because I’m a woman. If someone calls you a bitch, they’re trying to insult you by saying you’re like a woman; because to them, being female is an insult.

That’s the crucial difference, and the reason why trash talk isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card with which to defend the type of insult used. Lots of different people are receiving insults, but only a specific subset of people are having their identities and personhood actively demeaned.

  1. wevegotkix reblogged this from fozmeadows
  2. whatdoryforgot reblogged this from fozmeadows
  3. fearlesshornet reblogged this from kogiopsis and added:
    Ok lets try this one more time. I’m not making a social point here. I’m not saying that it is ok to use these words. I’m...
  4. clockworkcanary reblogged this from anotherwordformyth
  5. anotherwordformyth reblogged this from kogiopsis
  6. kogiopsis reblogged this from fearlesshornet and added:
    "But a person who uses the word fag isn’t necessarily trying to evoke those memories, or promote those actions. That’s...
  7. artisticwoe reblogged this from patrickdiomedes
  8. terra-of-roshar reblogged this from kogiopsis
  9. nyshadidntbreakit reblogged this from kogiopsis
  10. patrickdiomedes reblogged this from kogiopsis
  11. clear-sight reblogged this from jahloveangel
  12. elshiki reblogged this from fozmeadows
  13. jahloveangel reblogged this from fozmeadows
  14. mynothingplaces reblogged this from fozmeadows
  15. merinnan reblogged this from attackofthequasars-blog
  16. notascaryfeminist-blog reblogged this from fozmeadows
  17. wearelyca reblogged this from fozmeadows
  18. springblossum reblogged this from waywardmusings
  19. waywardmusings reblogged this from coffeebuddha
  20. lexi-liesmith reblogged this from morethanx
  21. morethanx reblogged this from fozmeadows
  22. fightingsail reblogged this from upxperiscope
  23. attackofthequasars-blog reblogged this from upxperiscope and added:
    Yes.
  24. kaije reblogged this from fozmeadows
  25. fozmeadows posted this