bodymovin asked: I was reading your well-reasoned piece on the "friend zone" and I generally agree that it is an unfair construct of man to explain something that is often times inexplicable. I do think it bears mentioning, however, that in a great many situations in which unrequited feelings are present - be they from males or females - the other side never knows, and thus your point that "she's already made it clear" what she wants rings a little hollow. Just a thought from a guy who has been on both sides.
That remark referred specifically to instances where both request and rejection have been clear; other times, yes, I agree it can be more ambiguous, but I still find it problematic when anyone, regardless of gender, expresses their sexual/romantic interest in someone else solely by being a good friend, and then getting upset or angry that the object of their affections hasn’t magically been able to tell the difference between regular friendship and I Want More Than This friendship. Which isn’t to say I don’t sympathise with people who are too nervous/shy/uncertain to declare themselves, as I’ve definitely been in that position myself; only that it’s unreasonable to assume that, just because your own friendly overtures are loaded with secret longing, the other person must either be able to tell or be thinking likewise about you.