What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

Torn from the pages of real life

  • *transmission begins*
  • Husband: I have a problem. I want to make tea, but we don't have any sugar. Can I go to the shops and get some?
  • Me: What are you talking about? There's a whole bag of sugar in the cupboard.
  • Husband: Is there? Really?
  • Me: It may be behind something.
  • Husband: *pokes through cupboard*
  • Husband: Do you mean... rice?
  • Husband: Because we have rice.
  • Husband: And I don't think I should put rice in my tea.
  • Me: I did not mean rice.
  • Husband: Did you know we have rice?
  • Me: I did.
  • Husband: *pokes through cupboard some more*
  • Husband: I have found.... oh. Sugar.
  • Me: Fancy that.
  • Husband: Wait. This is icing sugar.
  • Me: We have other sugar.
  • Husband: *pokes through cupboard*
  • Husband: Brown sugar?
  • Me: No!
  • Husband: Caster sugar?
  • Me: Yes!
  • Husband: The packet's empty.
  • Me: What?
  • Me: *gets up, comes to investigate*
  • Husband: *brandishes packet of icing sugar*
  • Me: That's icing sugar.
  • Husband: I know.
  • Husband: This is the caster sugar.
  • Husband: *crumples completely empty packet of caster sugar*
  • Me: Oh.
  • Me: *pokes through cupboard*
  • Me: Why are you asking me, anyway? I don't even use the sugar!
  • Me: You're sure we don't have more?
  • Husband: Not unless you count the icing sugar.
  • Husband: Wait. Is icing sugar sugar?
  • Me: ...
  • Me: For your purposes, no.
  • Husband: Right. Then I'm going to the shops.
  • Husband: Otherwise I'll have to have ICED TEA.
  • Husband: Get it?
  • Husband: Iced tea?
  • Husband: Because it has icing sugar in it?
  • Me: I get it.
  • Husband: I don't think you do. I'll explain it more slowly for you when I get back.
  • *transmission ends*
  1. fozmeadows posted this