What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.
  1. zbrefpic reblogged this from ourglassfigures
  2. awolfa reblogged this from sextronautt
  3. yessikg reblogged this from severusvonshakespeare
  4. nbarnabas reblogged this from artgrudge
  5. pearalu reblogged this from dynamite-donut
  6. severusvonshakespeare reblogged this from dynamite-donut
  7. definitely-not-an-alias reblogged this from lucifertheclown
  8. fl0rge reblogged this from pinenuttrekkie
  9. lucifertheclown reblogged this from dynamite-donut
  10. francydrewmysteries reblogged this from pinenuttrekkie
  11. artgrudge reblogged this from pidzson
  12. dynamite-donut reblogged this from pinenuttrekkie
  13. basil-babe reblogged this from pinenuttrekkie
  14. pidzson reblogged this from sugarpallos
  15. pinenuttrekkie reblogged this from sugarpallos
  16. sugarpallos reblogged this from bubuuus
  17. bubuuus reblogged this from ourglassfigures
  18. pandareblogs reblogged this from ourglassfigures
  19. captain-kate reblogged this from r0-ugh
  20. bluejomo reblogged this from empress-of-awesome
  21. ourglassfigures posted this