Anonymous asked: One problem I have with the feminist movement is that it villifies women if they fall under the female stereotype. I have personally seen feminists attack a woman who wanted to make her boyfriend a sandwich when he returned home, saying things like "She only thinks she wants to be subjugated by a man, she doesn't really want that". What do you think? Should a woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom be allowed to? Or are they just unfortunate casualties in the war against female stereotypes?
It saddens me that some feminists do attack women who choose traditional paths. The point of feminism shouldn’t be to vilify “women’s work”: it should be to make it a viable, respected choice for both men and women. Cooking and childrearing were never inherently crap jobs - both are obviously important and necessary! - it’s that they were assigned lower social status because women did them. Women have now attained a certain amount of freedom to discard feminine roles and adopt more masculine ones, but sadly, men are yet to acquire equal freedom to abandon masculine roles and adopt feminine ones. Until this happens, there’s always going to be a certain gendered skewing of who does what, because while we’ve managed to get women out of the home, we’re yet to get men into it.
Which is what true equality and feminism should look like: everyone being free to choose everything, regardless of whether it’s traditionally considered feminine or masculine. But if we keep dumping on “women’s work” when even women are doing it, then what chance do we have of convincing men it’s worth their while? Until we’ve gotten over this nonsensical preconception that domesticity is inherently less important, less worthwhile, less fulfilling and less viable as a choice than everything else, we’ll still be stuck in a sexist mindset of girl stuff = icky, boy stuff = good - and ultimately, that helps no one.
So huzzah for stay-at-home parents of any gender! They’re doing an important, worthwhile job, and so long as they’ve chosen to do it freely, I have no objections whatever - and nor should anyone else.
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