What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

anewnadir asked: Who is worse, the abusive boyfriend or the spurned 15-year old make who bitches about his rejection on tumblr? Not that you must pick; my point is merely that you haven't made the case that the aggregate effect of the word is worse than the actions which inspired it or that one leads to the other. "Language sets everyone the same traps."

Actually, I do have to choose, because however much I despise sexist bitching and the mindset it enables, the difference between that and actually physically abusing someone is massive. If your argument is that the rejectee is just as bad as the abuser because both take their cue from sexism: no. I’ll certainly decry both for their sexism, and I agree that sexist attitudes are the primary prelude and cause for sexist actions, but ranting on the internet is in no way equivalent to waging an actual campaign of abuse, whether physical, emotional or both, against a partner.  

  1. fozmeadows posted this