me: I need Rest
my brain: roll over. listen to your nose whistling. fix it! now roll back, you’re on the wrong side. wait, get up and pee again just in case. now flip your pillow. okay, we’re lying still, that’s good, but have you considered that this is Fucking Boring? think about something! no, not that, it’s too exciting and exciting makes us more awake. same with happy things. think of something depressing instead. no, not THAT depressing. dial it back. okay, this is just depressing enough but you thought about it two nights ago so I’m bored again. have a drink of water and check your fucking phone while you’re at it, I need Stimulus. flip the pillow back. kick the blanket down a bit, our feet are too hot. okay, relaxed breathing. kinda-sad thoughts. should we put some music on? no, no music. okay. relaxing, relaxing - hey, it’s working! isn’t that exciting? but oh wait, fuck, exciting wakes us up again, back to square one. hey, our legs feel weird, I’m so awake right now but I feel super tired with my eyes open, isn’t that nuts? hey, wouldn’t it be cool if dragons were real? ma
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