What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

bonesofthepast:

varanusindicus:

dezzoi:

la-vallett1:

dduane:

camwyn:

niamhermind:

keepyourhandsbusy:

hyena-butts:

everybodyilovedies:

thepioden:

roachpatrol:

joshnewberry:

people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like

  • its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
  • can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit

peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs. 

a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you

listen

listen

have you ever met a swan

if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are

Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST

@kidwithheadphones

Overheard in the student lounge:

“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”

“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”

If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.

Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:

image

This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.

image

This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-

image

… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.

image

This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.

image

This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.

image

This is a goose.

image

This is a vulture.

image

This is a cassowary on the attack. 

image

Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.

image

Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.

image

And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.

Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.

Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.

I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickens’ ancestor.

For those who think dinos aren’t cool because they’re feathered…whatever, mutherfuckers.  Evolution doesn’t give two shits what you think is cool or not.

image
image
image
image
image

You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly it’s attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emu’s, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.

image
image

This is like the “fuck birds master post” and I love it because
Honestly,
Fuck. Birds.

@elodieunderglass

(via madmaudlingoes)

  1. neuroatypicalcoelacanth reblogged this from justanotherwebpage
  2. sparklytimemachines reblogged this from xxxfuckyouthenxxx
  3. idk-what-to-call-this-one reblogged this from seirenemuri
  4. froggiecowboy reblogged this from jailqueen
  5. cuentaprovisional reblogged this from kedreeva
  6. playfulpanthress reblogged this from fabulousreaper
  7. fabulousreaper reblogged this from beaglerlove
  8. beaglerlove reblogged this from vannjaren
  9. kool--kitty reblogged this from wormbussy
  10. jaealluring reblogged this from liluglydudefromdetroit
  11. swankyplatyhelminthes reblogged this from liluglydudefromdetroit
  12. liluglydudefromdetroit reblogged this from tattooedheartbreaker
  13. strikers5401 reblogged this from shootingstarssel
  14. shootingstarssel reblogged this from uzumaki2810
  15. annoying-shipping-addict reblogged this from uzumaki2810
  16. uzumaki2810 reblogged this from damn-funny