What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

fenrisesque:

fenrisesque:

grandenchanterfiona:

brialavellan:

osunism:

smashcut:

askkakuro:

lesbianedgeworth:

mantismen:

sneezys-flower-mom:

abraca-mari:

mun-in-the-attic:

cartoonish-popplio:

lowly-wanderer:

paranormaldiblet:

cryptid-believer:

calibornsmainboo:

lacefuneral:

describe a video game in the absolute worse way possible: in the format of a “Florida Man” news headline

i.e. “Belgian Man Enraged by Smooth Jazz; Whacks People with Sticks, Consumes Raw Meat” (OFF)

abandoned child with a knife flirts with everyone

Teenage Girl Gets Embarrassingly Lost In Fog

circus child enters minds to save the world, occasionally sets fire to bears

Cephalopod children fight to the death with colorful ink.

Squid hybrids children do Paint Wars

Plummer fights against mutant turtle to save a badass woman

Kids catches magical creatures to fight against more people who will help them to become a champion

Local Swordsman Wastes Time Collecting Shit; Princess Still In Mortal Peril

People Explode Beans Just to Bury Rivals in Rocks

Local Farmer goes Mad: Starts Throwing Trash at Ponds, Claims to Hear Talking Fairy Sprites 

Local Rapper Starts Singing at Public Bathroom

Scientist says: Being not Perfect at Playing Music Causes Madness

Psychic Children Fend Off Alien Menace Using Bottle Rockets and Prayer

Plumber Teams Up with Rival, Girlfriend, “Frog”, and Possessed Doll; Defeats Intergalactic Blacksmith

michigan woman is just REALLY good at solving puzzles

Local Attorneys Take Courtroom Shenanigans Too Far; Body-Count Rising

Local man wakes up from 9 year coma to punch evil burn victim in the face. Also takes the theme of Moby Dick far too seriously

Mailman miraculously found alive in the desert, fucks local robot

Local dog uses magical graffiti to save the world.

Local woman leaves home to find her dad, ends up fighting the President.

Local Man Thinks His Dad’s Friends Are Assholes, Kills Them All.

“Kirkwall Woman Arrested For Everything”

“Local Woman Loves Cake, Solves 17 Puzzles To Get To It”

“Local woman ends own wedding, civil war, plague”

Band Of Lovable Misfits Compete To Fuck Local Chosen One, Kill Ancient Douchebag

(via queergoblin)

  1. doggofactory reblogged this from cameoappearance
  2. duwango reblogged this from friendshipismax
  3. tharrb reblogged this from danguy96 and added:
    Cartoon mouse creates Eldritch Abomination, ruins the lives of a bunch of nobody’s, much to elder brothers chagrin
  4. mcthedoodler reblogged this from damejudyhench and added:
    Homeless Amnesiac Becomes Royal Tactician, Saves The World By Fighting Themself
  5. unhappy-panda reblogged this from corancoranthemagicalman
  6. s-n-a-k-e reblogged this from corancoranthemagicalman
  7. damejudyhench reblogged this from corancoranthemagicalman and added:
    Local Man Turns Up Late For Work, Causes Apocalypse
  8. corancoranthemagicalman reblogged this from grandwretch and added:
    Local Boy Fights His Own Shadow With a Key And Loses
  9. artechine reblogged this from outofcontextelderscrolls and added:
    Local bike courier blows up a package, gets electrical powers as a result; Proceeds to fuck shit up.Italian man...
  10. nk64 reblogged this from mintyeggs and added:
    Ghost Tries To Recover Memories He Lost Before 7 AM, Saves 9 People From Death, Changes Future And Actually A Cat
  11. weeb-dweeb reblogged this from long-gone-silvers and added:
    Boston Man kills 30 irradiated super-humans with a minigun
  12. 0crypt-keeper0 reblogged this from proxypunch and added:
    Local boy has a total meltdown, destroys island and tries to kill his friends.
  13. desigmiracle reblogged this from long-gone-silvers
  14. lacefuneral posted this