What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

there is a particular type of emptiness that comes on a person between the hours of 11pm and 4am wherein your body sends steadily more confusing signals about what it wants, which you dutifully try to interpret. do we want a pink donut, you ask yourself? dutifully, a pink donut is procured and eaten, but the emptiness persists. do we want a toasted ham and cheese sandwich instead, perhaps to eat while reading a suitable fanfic, curled up in the kind of comfortable window-seat our house does not, in fact, possess? what do we want, brain-body?

here is the answer: what we crave in these moments isn’t nourishment, but acknowledgement freely offered, as opposed to covertly solicited. we sit awake while others sleep and hope our distant friends will sense, by some animal gnosis apart from us, that we want their company; will know to reassure us that we’re not wasting their time, that they’re thinking of us, that we’re valued and wanted. it’s a complex sort of hunger, and one the human body is evidently ill-equipped to convey to its resident ghost in any clearly distinguished fashion. 

so instead, we make terrible decisions involving carbohydrates while squinting at unsatisfactory literature. because existential crises.

  1. jelliclesong reblogged this from naamahdarling
  2. theboyisastar reblogged this from bellito-morenito
  3. vintageshitslover reblogged this from vassraptor
  4. sky-fxll reblogged this from griesly
  5. ennybunny reblogged this from fozmeadows
  6. sable-mage reblogged this from lastoftheptolemies
  7. mickeydoesthings reblogged this from latining
  8. ymnkn reblogged this from seananmcguire
  9. steamdragonsoul reblogged this from mrsgumby
  10. lastoftheptolemies reblogged this from newbornnebulae
  11. oblivionwriter reblogged this from fozmeadows
  12. jaimiejabbers reblogged this from seraphina-snape
  13. seraphina-snape reblogged this from eleventhly
  14. polaberry reblogged this from recovering-academic
  15. quod-libet reblogged this from recovering-academic
  16. chickwhodigs reblogged this from recovering-academic
  17. fozmeadows posted this