For the uninitiated, this is what Magpies are like during “swooping season” here in Australia.
- Fun fact: people have been known to walk around with empty ice cream containers on their heads to protect themselves in lieu of helmets.
Things to remember:
1) This is an Australian magpie. it is not like European magpies.It’s not a flappy bappy chirpy little shitbag you can bat away with your palm. This is a fucking crow in cow makeup
2) Cats and dogs will not try and take them on because cats and dogs know they will lose
3) They live for 25 years and yes, they will remember your face. Although I will confess that my 36 years of life I have never seen a dead one. Under tumblr logic this means they are immortal
4) They are insane. Cold stone bug-fuck insane. And they give zero fucks.I’ve seen them attack cyclists, moving cars, trucks, even a goddamn train.
So imagine, if you will, you are walking merrily down a street one spring and suddenly this train-assaulting, cow-cosplaying ball of immortal feathers and batshit insanity comes screaming out of nowhere and tries to embed itself in the back of your skull, beak clacking like the pump of a shotgun as it tears out chunks of your hair.
This is Australia.
(via punchholesinthesky)
littleninjacupcake liked this
sinnamonrollkitten liked this
stickycashskeletonfreak liked this
reddragonofemeraldflame reblogged this from kristtorn
reddragonofemeraldflame liked this kristtorn reblogged this from inkwellveins
isisishtar liked this
bionickid29 liked this
kogarxia liked this
improbablemusicavenue liked this rushman2-0 liked this
ersatz-emojicon liked this mrs-mustard reblogged this from drinkyourfuckingmilk
driedfrogpills4me reblogged this from lemedy
lenw130 reblogged this from lemedy
viri-di liked this
evalin-the-dreamer liked this
chiibee liked this
suddenwildmagic liked this driedfrogpills4me liked this
wallflower08 reblogged this from kumabees
wallflower08 liked this
kumabees reblogged this from lemedy
teambleckpowa liked this
kikis-inheritance reblogged this from lemedy
kikis-inheritance liked this
lemedy reblogged this from chodeboy
illustriousellarious reblogged this from paranoidpanther
illustriousellarious liked this
kkkkiiiirrrriiii liked this
y33t-haw liked this
caitliinstasey liked this
jonghyunskagome reblogged this from shinelikeastarlight
jonghyunskagome liked this shinelikeastarlight reblogged this from soulgae
theknightreader reblogged this from discobee
moch-ila liked this soulgae reblogged this from discobee
discobee reblogged this from aconissa septimusheaps liked this
crowreys-wormstache reblogged this from kenanek
crowreys-wormstache liked this lordantics reblogged this from desdemonasarahmckenzie
desdemonasarahmckenzie reblogged this from aconissa
freckles-and-books liked this
theproblemswiththesky liked this
uiambra liked this
kenanek reblogged this from sapphlock jimoriartyhi liked this
- Show more notes