The biggest thing I find about the non-believers in Crucifix nail Nipples, is that they want to believe that both authors and publishers have higher standards than they actually do. But if someone genuinely believed they could cash in on the hype train that was vampires back in 2012? They would have thrown their granny onto the tracks to do so.
This included publishers.
Nail Nipples was not the worst story I ever edited. There was in fact a story that landed into my in-tray that was so garbled I actually checked to make sure the formatting hadn’t somehow reverted to wingdings. No, turns out the writer really thought grammar and spelling was more of a general guideline. There was another where the author couldn’t differentiated between rape and rape fantasy. There was another author who killed off the bisexual part of an ot3 so that the “true” pairing could be together (a fairly common thing actually which yick and yikes) and there was also an issue with one author who didn’t realize Humbert Humbert from Nabokov’s Lolita was not in fact a hero.
All of these books were plucked from a list of hopefuls, taken to the chief editor who looked at our notes and said “nuke ‘em”. But there are other editors and publishers out there that were less reputable and that’s how you end up with shit like 50 Shades of Grey actually making it to print.
And that kind of thing happens All The Time. There’s a lot of crap out there that has been officially published which I am almost 100% certain would not survive being beta’d in my group of friends. Who are for the most part, amateurs with a profound love for the written word and an understanding that the em dash is meant to gently break up sentences, and not hack it to pieces, and also Human Anatomy Does Not Work That Way 101.
In that regard fandom expects a lot from their writers. We want whole concise stories that make sense, are enjoyable and are also, free. We hold ourselves to a much higher standard because we have been told we’re “only” writing fandom, and that in the real world out literature wouldn’t hold up. And that’s a lie. Most fandom writers I know of are good enough to be in print.
So when people hear stories about something like Crucifix Nail Nipples landing onto a real life editorial desk, they can’t believe it. They think surely not, surely there are Procedures in place to stop this kind of thing. Well there is. It’s the poor sod sitting at their desk at 3 in the morning before a deadline, staring at their screen with one contact out because maybe if you squint at it the plot and narrative cohesion will emerge like the penguin in one of those magic picture books.
It just so happens that one day I sat down at my desk and the words “crucifix nail nipples” jumped out at me and I haven’t been able to stop mentally screaming since.
(via alessariel)
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