Keep an eye out for my upcoming expose, revealing the terrible truths about morning, with sections such as:
- Waking Up Because The Sun Is Up: What Are We, Farmers?
- “Night Owls” vs. “Morning People”: Owls Are Obviously Cooler, They Can Fly
- Breakfast Food: Don’t Worry, You Can Actually Eat It Any Time Of The Day
- Daaaamn, Sun: Why Is It So Bright?
- Screw This: Your Correspondent Is Going Back To Bed
(via thejgatsbykid)
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• For Your Own Sanity: Mute Your Phone Before 6AM • Do Not Think That Because Your Eyes Are Open Your Brain Is Engaged
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