What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

star-anise:

lachesismeg:

strawberryspoop:

Viciously destroy the idea that bullying is a normal part of growing up.

This is so hard for me as a parent to deal with, from both sides.

Like it brings up all of my issues, and I so want my kid to not have to deal with bullying.  And I have no idea how to do that.

I’ll repeat something I’ve said before:

I was doing my Master’s thesis on bullying until the topic triggered me back to my own childhood so badly I dropped out of that degree program.  Let me share something I know.

We haven’t quite found anti-bullying programs that stop bullying once it’s started, but we canreduce the harm bullying does.  Just a few small changes to classroom culture, like limiting children’s opportunities to exclude each other, or spending time talking about respectful communication, has visible changes.  Yeah, there’s still a hierarchy of popularity, but kids at the bottom of the ladder go from having no friends on average to having one or two.  And that’s enough to make or break a childhood.  (Sources: one two three four five)

But here’s the other thing.

There is one major factor that mediates the link between childhood bullying and adult mental illnesses (predominantly depression, anxiety, and eating disorders).  It’s self-blame.

What really damages children isn’t precisely being bullied; it’s believing that they deserve to be bullied. If children don’t blame themselves for being victims, they are much more resilient and experience fewer long-term negative consequences. (Sources: one two three four five)

Society blames children for their victimization by bullies all the time.  It says, “There is something about you that causes people to bully you.“  Common responses to bullied kids are things like: “Don’t give them a reaction.” (They’re bullying you because you get upset.)  “They’re just jealous.” (They’re bullying you because you do well.)  “Let’s teach you some social skills.”  (They’re bullying you because you act weird.)

If we can just change that one thing, we could prevent a lot of damage.  What bullied kids desperately need at the very least is a caring community that says: You are not alone.  It’s not your fault.  What they’re doing is not okay.

(Source: strawberryspoons, via myriadism)

  1. schyphe reblogged this from corbinite
  2. lovealwaysj reblogged this from findyourvoice
  3. kool--kitty reblogged this from dingdongyouarewrong
  4. hagelliot reblogged this from latratoris
  5. veliante reblogged this from star-anise
  6. eliast0r reblogged this from mentalisttraceur
  7. akiriweary reblogged this from minjiminjiminji
  8. intentlydivided reblogged this from whatever-the-hell-i-want
  9. whatever-the-hell-i-want reblogged this from cookiecakemachine
  10. random-scribbles reblogged this from minjiminjiminji
  11. fragmented-peace reblogged this from strawberryspoons
  12. die-leere-kantine reblogged this from la-vache-intrepide
  13. yavannamire reblogged this from thisboythatgirl
  14. nightingalescalling reblogged this from dingdongyouarewrong
  15. superflys-things reblogged this from pomskypuppy
  16. pomskypuppy reblogged this from haberdashing
  17. jazthepiratequeen reblogged this from thatcuteaspie
  18. thatcuteaspie reblogged this from nerdexpress
  19. beastie-supreme reblogged this from future-twi
  20. queertaliesin reblogged this from beththeb01
  21. golsaileachreblogs reblogged this from megamindyelling
  22. saltyoaktree reblogged this from dingdongyouarewrong
  23. old-them-jj reblogged this from dirtypuzzle
  24. dirtypuzzle reblogged this from jameswrites