What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

fozmeadows:

tonight I realised that zevran arainai is basically puss in boots from shrek 2 and now I’m LITERALLY DYING, HELP

OK but this is literally SO RIDICULOUS and I can’t stop thinking about it??? like puss is an assassin paid by the king to off the protagonist, except he ends up working for the protagonist? who should have killed him? except suddenly he becomes an ally, and he’s this seemingly lascivious, flirty character who actually has a tragic past? and an obsession with nice leather boots? and a putatively spanish accent? what is this even?

and it gets even weirder if you consider how easily the dragon age: origins characters map to the cast of shrek 2?? I mean CONSIDER:

zevran - is literally puss, see the above

wynne - queen lillian, silver-haired, stern and benevolently exasperated

oghren - shrek: surly but good, drunk, crass, his name even sounds like ‘ogre’

alistair - donkey, because loveable motormouth sidekick who’s also snarky

leliana - fiona, red haired, seemingly sweet but will 900% fight you

morrigan - dragon, do I really have to explain this, also seduces donkey/alistair for the creation of hybrid magical offspring 

flemmeth - the fairy godmother, sarcastic, neutral evil, hates you

loghain - king harold, bitter monarch who hires a turncoat assassin

king cailin - prince charming, ineffectual prettyboy monarch

sten - doris the ugly stepsister, because violent and sick of your shit

WHY AM I THINKING THESE THINGS SOMEONE STOP ME

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