What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

The panel discussion being broadcast was teens and adults with autism and how federal funding could better support them. As the show closed, the moderator asked if anyone on the panel felt a vaccine had caused their autism.


Silence.


One teen panelist spoke up, “no, but it hurts that you would ask that question.”


The moderator’s tone softened, he apologized and asked why. I’m going to paraphrase the boy’s response because it has been several years and for the life of me I have not been able to find a transcript of this event anywhere, which has driven me to madness. If anyone from C-SPAN reads this and knows the talk I’m referring to, please send me a transcript! The panelist’s response was incredibly moving and I wish I could give him credit for it and do his response justice.


As I recall his response was, “because it makes me feel like I’m damaged or broken, when I’m not. I was born this way. My brain just works differently than most other people’s. When people talk about vaccines and autism it makes me feel like I’m not a person but a ‘bad result.’ It reminds me that no one wants a kid like me and parents will risk their kid’s lives and everyone else’s just to make sure their kid doesn’t turn out like me.”


There was silence on the radio. By this time I’d pulled into our parking spot at home and sat in the car in silence as well. It was a moment of epiphany.


Oh bleep, I thought. I’ve never thought of it like that.


The panelist’s words were so loaded and unfiltered. He was speaking from the heart and I could imagine the pain he felt when he described that some parents would rather have their children die than turn out like him. That is an incredible and completely unnecessary burden for any child to carry around, yet any time vaccines were discussed, those assumptions were coded in language.

  1. shoes-that-cut-eyes-that-burn reblogged this from valerieg3
  2. valerieg3 reblogged this from skyforgesteel
  3. skyforgesteel reblogged this from butterflyinthewell
  4. aguacatito reblogged this from meggannn
  5. esthertheblack reblogged this from disabledhannibal
  6. books4brats reblogged this from rataplani
  7. healingmichiko reblogged this from kayasurin
  8. slice-of-bread reblogged this from whiskeytangofrogman
  9. imjustdreamingoutloudd reblogged this from iamnightmonkey
  10. shesallrightnow reblogged this from lovely-little-hellfire
  11. wolfdragonzjedimaster reblogged this from kidnapthemuse
  12. kidnapthemuse reblogged this from countlessuntruths
  13. starlightdarlin reblogged this from liamdryden
  14. queercowboy13 reblogged this from mymedlife
  15. mr-shellhead reblogged this from badscienceshenanigans
  16. sublimebeeessry reblogged this from neoliberalismkills
  17. fifteen-puzzle reblogged this from squirenonny
  18. one-moom reblogged this from consulting-auror-with-a-blog
  19. butterflyinthewell posted this