no but hear me out
the thing I love about hawke is that s/he has literally zero contextually respectable romance options.
like, okay: as the warden, you’ve got a choice between an apostate mage (scandalous), an elven former assassin (sorta scandalous), a former chantry sister (borderline) and a grey warden slash royal bastard (respectable), and as the inquisitor, you’ve got a slew of options that run the gamut from utterly scandalous (qunari mercenary, tevinter altus) to completely respectable (antivan ambassador, ex-templar commander). and I mean, of course there’s always going to be differences of opinion, but generally speaking, in terms of the friends and authority figures you encounter in both games, you’ve always got an option that won’t really rock the boat, or which you can imagine the rest of the world kinda being surprised by, but then shrugging about, because it doesn’t really have much impact on what’s happening to them.
and then there’s hawke, who - in a city on the bloody brink of war between mages and templars, where literally everything related to magic is political as hell, and where the biggest external threats are qunari, tevinter slavers and pirates - is romantically interested in:
- an apostate mage possessed by a spirit who’s actively inciting rebellion against the government;
- an elven blood-mage whose forbidden experiments pissed off even her own, more magically tolerant people;
- a qunari-sympathising elven ex-slave from tevinter squatting illegally in a decaying mansion who vocally hates pretty much everything to do with magic, even though he’s got lyrium carved into his actual skin; and/or
- a pirate who’s single-handedly responsible for infesting the city with the same qunari who end up setting the joint on fire and killing the goddamn viscount.
and I just. as grateful as the citizens of kirkwall are to their champion, you can honestly imagine that, whenever the topic of his/her lover comes up, there’s this collective groan of hawke, what the actual fuck? like REALLY? you have basically the ENTIRE ELIGIBLE POPULATION (and a significant portion of the ineligible population) ready and willing to go, and THAT’S who you’re boning?
basically hawke’s lovelife is the reason why varric drinks.
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