What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

psa: headcanons

People aren’t obliged to share your headcanons. Everyone is allowed their own interpretation of characters, and to argue for and endorse them accordingly. Someone politely saying “you’re entitled to your headcanon, but I don’t share it” is not the same thing as their being phobic of or expressing hatred towards your headcanon and/or what it represents; it just means the person has a different idea of the character. Someone engaging in critical discourse by arguing from the text in support of a different headcanon is not the same thing as their being phobic of or expressing hatred towards your headcanon and/or what it represents; it just means the person has a different idea of the character. 

Yes, I appreciate that particular groups are marginalised IRL, and that in cases where a headcanon involves a popular character belonging to one or more such groups, some people’s dislike of it can easily be the result of, or at least compounded by, either subconscious or active prejudice on their part. This happens, and it sucks! But simply disagreeing with you is not, in and of itself, an indication of bigotry, hatred or phobia. Someone reblogging your post to offer a counteropinion argued from the text or saying “this is cool but HAVE YOU CONSIDERED X” is not the same thing as their being hateful. Depending on context and language, it might make them an asshole - if they try to convert you, if they’re disparaging or aggressive - but when you post opinions online, people responding with their own opinions isn’t, in and of itself, either rudeness or heresy: it’s critical discourse - the same thing you were engaging in by positing headcanons in the first place.

Listen: I get that, some days, the last thing you want to do is to respond to someone with a different opinion on a topic you care about; that there are times when, regardless of whether you want to respond to it, or how politely it’s worded, even a simple disagreement can feel draining as hell, and that a succession of such messages can sometimes constitute or contribute to a slew of microaggressions. Believe me, I get it. And this, too, sucks! But the fact that it sucks - that you, in that moment, don’t want to engage - is not the other person’s fault, because they are not psychic, and generally speaking, if someone posts an opinion in a medium that allows replies, it’s reasonable for a reader to assume that the act of replying is itself okay. If they keep harassing you despite your silence or your stated preference to let things lie, or if they’re abusive and awful, then yeah: they’re an asshole, or maybe a bigot, because the fact that they’re allowed to reply doesn’t mean they have carte blanche to tell you whatever. In those cases, blame away! 

But when you post an opinion where other people can see it and respond to it, in a context where replying and engaging in critical discourse is kind of the done thing, if not the actual point - like in a fandom, say - then acting shocked and appalled that a counteropinion even exists, or confusing disagreement with hatred, is… counterproductive, to say the least. And if you respond to that sort of thing with vitriol, threats and abuse? Then you’re the asshole.

tl;dr: “I disagree (and here’s why!), but you do you” is not the same as “I HATE YOU”.

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