What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

such models of friendship are precious and rare

  • Friend: Two important things happened today.
  • Me: do tell
  • Friend: First, today is the eight hundred year anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta.
  • Friend: Secondly, today, I sent a bag of dicks to Sam. To eat. I want him to eat a bag of dicks.
  • Friend: Which he is doing, as we speak.
  • Me: Which Sam? And, more important, what type of dicks?
  • Friend: [last name], and gummi dicks.
  • Friend: You can do this in the future.
  • Friend: Oh brave new world.
  • Me: that has such penii in it
  • Friend: They're apparently delicious.
  • Me: Gummicockslut.
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