thoughts on penetrative sex
I think an enormous amount of homophobic ignorance about the practical mechanics of penetrative sex between two people with vaginas can be boiled down to a type of awkward, sexist confusion about how both parties can enjoy themselves if the object or objects doing the actual penetrating - like fingers, say, or a dildo - can’t achieve orgasm from the contact. But how is it sex, this logic seems to cry, if the action by which you pleasure one person isn’t the same action that gets you off?
Far too often, we default to the idea that penetrative sex is - or worse, should be - more pleasurable to the penetrator than the one being penetrated, such that we have a tendency to define sex as being over when a penetrating penis achieves orgasm. This makes penetrative sex into an act that’s more about one person taking pleasure than in the mutual exchange of same, which logic contributes to the same sexist prejudices and anxieties that can make people of all genders either unwilling to explore their bodies beyond this remit, or ignorant of the notion that doing so is a viable possibility.
But when you have something other than a flesh-and-blood penis doing the penetrating, every backwards cultural assumption we have about how sex works - and how bodies work - is turned on its head. Instead, penetration becomes a thing you can do primarily to pleasure someone else, and that, in turn, suggests that penetrating someone requires considerably more skill than enthusiasm; that your “success” in bed can’t be measured simply by the quality of your own orgasms, but by how well you provision them to others.
Just as importantly, if penetrative sex can be achieved with something other than a penis, or if there are multiple penises to choose from, then it raises the question of who’s going to penetrate whom. The idea of topping as the end result of a negotiation, or as a role that can be switched at will, is anathema to every stereotype we’re culturally sold about heteronormative sex. Regardless of their sexual orientation, cisgendered men with prostates are all potentially capable of enjoying anal penetration, whether digitally or otherwise, but this is something we have an enormous cultural reticence to acknowledge unless we’ve first branded it a kink, as though there’s something anomalous or particular about a straight cisgendered man wanting to enjoy the full potential of his own body.
tl;dr: Penetrative sex is about way more than just inserting a cock to get it off, and regardless of our genitals or the genitals of our partner/s, we really ought to think about that more often.
shiaquu reblogged this from fozmeadows catclawsabound liked this
violetemerald reblogged this from fozmeadows
kingsquirrelisfollowingyou reblogged this from fozmeadows
owlifer reblogged this from fozmeadows
kissmeagainarthas liked this blatantlyqueer liked this
coffin-dwelling-tramp liked this fibonaccisequins-blog liked this
ephemeralcastiel liked this
terra-of-roshar liked this
uptodaete reblogged this from kristtorn fuzzytale reblogged this from fozmeadows
fuzzytale liked this
fffinnagain liked this
thepermeableboundary liked this
violetemerald liked this
followfreeman-blog liked this
kristtorn reblogged this from fozmeadows
grrriselda reblogged this from grrrro
dandydeney07 liked this
sarahjay55 liked this
kehoffman liked this
seltsameseeds-blog liked this
trakaka liked this
grrrro reblogged this from fozmeadows
charliebradburyismylesbianmuse liked this
auti-hottie liked this
lena221bee liked this effvlgentt liked this
strange-noises-in-odd-places reblogged this from fozmeadows
track-three reblogged this from fozmeadows
track-three liked this
wonderfulblunderfulme liked this
obscurereferencewoman liked this
kailean3645 liked this
thesirenandtheking reblogged this from allyonthego
thesirenandtheking liked this
transcientwishes liked this
great-exhibition-of-1851 liked this
lucymonster liked this
justhereforthespn liked this
fozmeadows posted this
- Show more notes