What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

marulaoil asked: by mild biphobia i actually meant micro aggression but yeah it rubbed me wrong because if I entered a relationship with a guy it would immediately become queer because i'm bisexual and I can't have a 'straight relationship' but I understand you can't include the complexity of bisexual relationships in a twitter rant and different bisexuals would feel differently about that one case

letyourlifesing:

fozmeadows:

solitarelee:

fozmeadows:

No, I get it, and I’m sorry to have upset you. This is something I’m thinking about a lot at the moment, though, and I actually found it really difficult to reply to your comment - am finding it difficult to reply here, in fact - because I’m monogamously married to a straight man, but very, very recently realised that I’m genderqueer (of which my husband is fully supportive), and I wasn’t sure how to articulate that in my reply without starting another conversation altogether. Which, I guess this now constitutes me coming out on the internet, so. Um. Yeah.

Point being, this struck a nerve, because I don’t like the idea of defining my relationship as either queer or straight - the latter because I’m not, and the former because my husband’s not, and I don’t see why either of our sexualities should have more of a defining say than the other in how the combination is perceived. The fact that I’ve had an epiphany about who I am doesn’t change his orientation, and it doesn’t change our marriage. 

Complex sexualities woooo!

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It’s funny, foz, because I’m genderqueer and I was thinking the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING when I read your comment. I was in a relationship with a cis guy for the longest time and when posed the question as to whether it was a queer or straight relationship, I have no idea what to say. It’s certainly a straight PASSING relationship, and HE sure as hell treated it in all ways as a straight relationship (despite the fact neither of us were). But at the same time I don’t like being forced to identify that relationship as “queer” either… it was the most heteronormative thing I’ve ever done in my LIFE! 

Welcome to the club of My Gender Confuses Things. 

*is welcomed, takes a t-shirt and membership pin*

Seriously though, I was talking to a friend about it the other night, and suddenly I was like, oh, fuck, I’m a genderqueer bisexual switch. I am the ultimate either/or of human beings. WHAT IS THAT EVEN. HOW.

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See, for me, my being genderqueer means that I see all my relationships as queer and it would be a deal breaker for me if a partner disagreed in a way that implied they think I’m ‘really a woman’.

I 100% percent support you in that. Like I said in the original post, I think it’s something we all should be able to decide for ourselves.

  1. owlifer reblogged this from fozmeadows
  2. wellharkather reblogged this from fozmeadows
  3. onceuponacupoftea reblogged this from fozmeadows
  4. asymbina reblogged this from fozmeadows and added:
    I think it’s awesome when people have these revelations, but I’m mostly reblogging this because OWL. LITTLE BITTY OWL.
  5. wearelyca reblogged this from fozmeadows
  6. fozmeadows reblogged this from letyourlifesing and added:
    I 100% percent support you in that. Like I said in the original post, I think it’s something we all should be able to...
  7. letyourlifesing reblogged this from fozmeadows and added:
    See, for me, my being genderqueer means that I see all my relationships as queer and it would be a deal breaker for me...
  8. solitarelee reblogged this from fozmeadows