What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

melancholic romantic comic cynic. bi & genderqueer. fantasy writer. sysrae on ao3.

Guys, if you can’t fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately try to push their shitty product on you?

Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if - instead of shoe cleaner - their product was DICK.

That’s a woman’s reality: a never-ending, thinly veiled penis infomercial. Moral reasons aside, you shouldn’t catcall simply because it doesn’t work. From an economic standpoint, dick is over-saturating the marketplace. Supply and demand. Too many guys are trying to supply dick. Droves of desperate dudes are drastically decreasing dick demand, detrimenting distribution.

Simply put: The Cock Market is an all time low.

The reason vagina is such a valuable commodity is because it’s harder to come by. You can’t just get it through a hole in the wall at a truck stop bathroom. You want your product to sell, you have to create a need.

In everyone’s best interest, gentlemen, treat your dicks like the McRib. Periodically take them off the market. Give consumers a chance to miss them and forget how gross they really are.

—Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel)

(Source: thewinterotter, via schadenfrohs)

  1. thenerdiestbird reblogged this from zebraairvest
  2. killer-rabbit-05 reblogged this from cottoncandyspacequeen
  3. cottoncandyspacequeen reblogged this from cayday
  4. cayday reblogged this from lilythecloud
  5. fogarate reblogged this from morepopcornplease
  6. yu-my reblogged this from a-nightingales-song
  7. rabbitholefandoms reblogged this from notbirdsbutstars
  8. nisie-reblogs reblogged this from nisiedrawsstuff
  9. doraxduncan reblogged this from 13doghouse
  10. antidamage reblogged this from randomizedred
  11. randomizedred reblogged this from morethansky
  12. rainbrorex reblogged this from rainbrorex
  13. 8pocketelf reblogged this from gaytypetitan
  14. boomstab-papa reblogged this from sheepheadfred
  15. la-poem reblogged this from dobbio
  16. thewinterotter posted this