What Happens Next: A Gallimaufry

Foz Meadows is a bipedal cismammal with delusions of immortality. Also, she writes fantasy novels.

http://fozmeadows.tumblr.com/post/92767445886/im-gonna-say-this-once-if-you-as-a-straight

cjm1174:

fozmeadows:

I’m gonna say this once: if you, as a straight dude, can sing the praises of a fictional female character to the high heavens, talk about how awesome and badass and hot she is, and how her skimpy costume (if she has one) is perfectly representative of her character, and defend her in arguments,…

Some costumes need a certain body shape wearing an hour glass shape costume on a pear shaped body is retarded and wouldn’t look right

Nah dude, I’m pretty sure people can wear whatever the fuck they want without reference to your shitty opinions on bodytype. 

I’m gonna say this once: if you, as a straight dude, can sing the praises of a fictional female character to the high heavens, talk about how awesome and badass and hot she is, and how her skimpy costume (if she has one) is perfectly representative of her character, and defend her in arguments, and generally talk like she’s the queen of the world, but then you turn right around and scream at, creep on, slutshame or otherwise actively harass girls who cosplay as her because you think they’re the wrong bodytype, or they’re just doing it for attention, or they don’t pass your definition of a true fan, or for literally any other bullshit reason, then let me explain you a thing: you don’t actually like that character.

What you like, whether sexually or intellectually or some combination thereof, is the fantasy of controlling a woman - or rather, the idea of a woman - in a context where you don’t also have to grant her actual personhood and all its attendant rights. As such, seeing her physically brought to life by a real human being smashes your objectifying, possessive daydreams into a billionty pieces, and your first response is therefore either to attack the cosplayer as inadequate to the role or attempt to reassert your ownership of the character via ownership of her - that is, by aggressively monopolising her time and/or invading her personal space, just because she came out dressed like something you mistakenly thought was yours.  

Because if you really liked the character - which is to say, the idea of the person they represent - then simply seeing her personified, no matter how that personification differed from your internal visualisations, would not threaten you

THE END.

cassolotl asked: Just wanted to say I am SO INTO "Fools Rush In". <3

Thank you! I’m really enjoying writing it :)

playing the same song on repeat for 4000 years because it exactly represents the mood of a scene you’re writing

wayward-superwholockian asked: Where will I find the rest of the destiel record/bookshop au? I love it and your writing is amazing ^u^

Thank you so much! The fic is ongoing over at AO3, here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/sysrae/works

nerd-in-the-tardis asked: hey! i just read your fic (this one: /post/91695896606/mishaandpie-au-where-dean-owns-a-record-shop) and i just wanted to express how good it was and omg i'm so in love and thank you so much for doing that! i just noticed that you said you're still writing, and i was wondering does this mean it's still in production, or if you've posted it elsewhere? do you have ao3 or something? because i'd love to read more of your stuff aaah.

Thanks - I’m really glad you like it! I’m still writing it, trying to manage about a chapter a today, and uploading it as I go to AO3. My account is here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/sysrae/works

:)

OK but no, this actually makes me FURIOUS.

Because here’s the thing about socially sanctioned, fucked-up standards of female beauty: they train you from minute one to have shitty self perception, forever and ever, amen. I mean, this is literally where eating disorders come from, when you look in the mirror and still think you need to lose weight, even if your body is actually eating itself in a frantic bid to stay alive, and all because those size 0 jeans don’t fit yet. Their entire point is that women can’t win, and while fitting the very narrow parameters, or even some of the parameters, that our culture considers ideal might afford you certain privileges in terms of the clothes you can buy and the way certain people treat you, that doesn’t magically make you immune from insecurity, or self-hatred, or depression, or anything.

Here is the logic of patriarchy: only vain girls think they’re pretty; being vain is bad, and you’re not vain, so therefore, you can’t be pretty, either. Someone else is thinner than you; therefore, you can’t really be thin. Conventionally pretty girls are vapid whores, and you’re not a vapid whore; therefore, you’re not conventionally pretty, either, and any girl who is must be treated with utmost suspicion.  

Here is what happens when guys pay you attention as a teenage girl: sometimes, it’s creepy or unwanted or inappropriate or just not from anyone you’re interested in, and you’re still insecure as fuck; therefore, you feel unattractive. Or else, guys pay you attention, but you don’t feel like you’re allowed to acknowledge or enjoy it, even just at the level of a compliment, because that would make you a tease or a slut or an attention-whore, so you pretend it isn’t happening. Or maybe you’re gay or bi, and it doesn’t matter shit if guys are trailing around after you, because really you’ve got a crush on that redhead girl in your maths class and have absolutely zero idea about how to approach her. Or maybe you’re ace, and nobody who’s ever asked you out has understood what that means, and everyone you tell keeps making you feel like a freak for not being what they expect.

Here is what this comic says to me: that conventionally pretty girls who express insecurity about their appearance are infuriating and awful, because that insecurity cannot possibly be genuine, and is therefore only ever deployed as a way of fishing for compliments. Or else it’s because they know they’re beautiful, but also know they’re not allowed to act as if they believe it, and so just pretend to feel ugly as part of the social contract, which makes them fakers and liars. But either way, you’re totally justified in resenting them rather than offering friendship and positive reinforcement, because you’re not like other girls, are you! No, you’re special; you don’t go around being all boring and pretty while coding your speech in such a way as to potentially invite compliments. Only attention whores want compliments, after all, and you’re not an attention whore, so you don’t complain about your weight or your diet or your wardrobe issues or anything else that women are conventionally seen to be fixated with (even if you actually think about these things a lot), because then you’d be one of those women, and thus The Actual Worst.     

Which doesn’t mean it’s never frustrating if someone you consider to be conventionally attractive complains to you about how ugly or gross they feel, when you just can’t see what the problem is. After all, if you think they’re obviously way more gorgeous than you, and they’re calling themselves ugly, then what does that say about how you look to them? But, here, listen: Imma let you in on a little secret. The thing about insecurity and shitty, socially-conditioned self perception is, it’s utterly biased in favour of The Standards By Which I Judge Myself Are Different To The Standards By Which I Judge Other People. You can be a size eight and lamenting your lack of a thigh gap - which, by the way, don’t, because having one is actually dependent on the shape of your pelvic bone, and you can seriously hurt yourself trying to get one otherwise - and still think your curvy, size fourteen friend is beautiful, because you’re not judging her the way you judge yourself. You see your friends from the outside and know exactly why they’re worthy of love, but being inside your head, feeling freakish and uncertain and awful, it is so much harder to understand that you’re worthy, too. 

Yes, there are girls who fish for compliments by lamenting the lack positive of attributes they feel themselves to have, but do you know why this happens? Because fucking sexism tells us we’re not allowed to call ourselves beautiful; that beauty is the highest ideal we can ever hope to aspire to, but that it doesn’t matter for shit unless other people - and especially men - tell us we’ve succeeded. Of course some conventionally beautiful women fish for compliments; that is literally the way they’ve been trained to believe the system works. And of course some people - and not just women! - sometimes complain about their imaginary defects as a subtle way of disparaging others: because some people are fucking assholes, is why, and assholes will always try to manipulate the insecurities of others. But this is not a goddamn gender-specific trait, and acting like this is what women are always doing when they vocalise insecurities is counterfuckingproductive on a massive scale, and just: no. NO. THE NOPETOPUS RIDES AGAIN.

tl;dr: WOMEN ARE TRAINED TO BE INSECURE ABOUT THEIR LOOKS REGARDLESS OF HOW WE *ACTUALLY LOOK*, SUCH THAT PORTRAYING THIS AS A VALID REASON FOR RESENTING CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE GIRLS WHO ARE STILL INSECURE AND/OR ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO RESENT THE INSECURITIES OF THEIR FRIENDS IS LEGITIMATELY PART OF THE SAME DAMN PROBLEM, SO - 

STOP.

(Source: c-cassandra, via oceanskysailor)

INTERNETS!

I require a gif of Fran from Black Books saying “Oo-oo! You gonna scratch his name on your pencil box?”

I require this because of Reasons.

Yes or no: does such a thing exist, and if so, GIMME.

ali-iv asked: I read your piece on seachange on your wordpress, and it's amazingly good for convincing people to watch it (I think anyway considering the ABC page hasn't been updated since 2000). Thank you for writing it!

Thank you! SeaChange is still one of my all-time favourite shows, and I really wish it was more widely available.